Friday, February 5, 2010

Halloween

365 days. That's how long Kevin has been gone from this world. 365 days and it still feels unreal, my mind still doesn't want to accept that he's not here making his goofy comments anymore. It's been a year and I still don't know what to say really.

Everyone has spent the last year missing him so much, but at the same time being thankful that we'd been given the chance to know him. Over the year we've all grown so much. It's so weird that even though I think about him everyday things are becoming fuzzy, and I hate it. I want to be able to remember everything; every story I've ever witnessed or heard, every text message and every Facebook message, every time he called me Norah, but I'm losing things. It doesn't help that his Facebook is slowly being deleted by Facebook, it's impossible to see our wall-to-wall or any previous posts. It's sad to think that someone can be taken from your life just like that.

One day I was sitting listening to my iTunes and "Halloween" by Meg & Dia (today's title track) came up on my shuffle for the first time since Kevin's passing. I sat crying and although I was a wreck by the time the song finished I listened to it again, and again, until I physically couldn't cry more. I'm not some sadist, but it was just as much of a happy cry as a sad cry, it got me thinking about the conversations, texts and silly videos he sent me. But mostly it got me thinking about how much he loved Halloween, he loved picking out the perfect unique Halloween costume to surprise everyone with. The song got me thinking about him, about KEVIN, and all that he gave to the world.

If you have lost anyone, click on the title and listen to the song if for nothing more than to just remember them and what they meant to you.


You are missed more than you know Kevin, every single day. RIP


7 comments:

Ana from far away! said...

I hope that you feel better soon

Brent said...

I haven't lost anyone close to me for a long time, and I hope it stays that way. It's sobering to come upon the day where you measure how long someone has been gone. We go about our lives, and then BAM we have that sudden realization. Got to remember... to remember those people.

Mr O said...

I didn't know it had only been a year, I truly am sorry for that. But this was a very touching post that in a way, I think can help anybody going through what you are.

For example, I don't get what facebook is doing. It really sucks though. And though I am a guy, I can attest to the "good cry." Sometimes, it is the best medicine.

But the song. Thank you for sharing it. There's really not much more I can say that thank you.

Jeanette said...

@Ana: Thanks!

@Brent: Yeah it's not a fun thing at all. But yes, we do need to remember them.

@Mr. O: Thanks, I know you know what's going on, you've been there.

It means a lot that all of you are listening :)

Lola Lakely said...

I just lost someone close to me at work so this week has been a rough one. So I can completely relate to what you are going through now. They are never forgotten. I know that Barbara will always be in my heart and the impact she made on my life is immeasurable.

Drop me a line lovely Jeanette and let me know how you are doing!

krystal said...

:( I think everyone we've lost deserves to be remembered exactly this way, this was a pretty post

Jeanette said...

@Lola: I need more Lola in my life ;)

@krystal: Thanks Krystal, I hope you're doing will in your far off land :)